Have you ever wondered why when you do ‘unacceptable’ things your parents would scold you or be upset? Or if you did ‘praiseworthy’ things they’ll also be the ones buffing their chest out (in a positive light) and be all smiles and happy?
As per the title, you are a reflection – a reflection of their teachings, themselves as an individual. Therefore, if we act out of the way they think they have taught us, it will evoke a response from them.
Being the adults we are now, it is difficult to change our habits, character and way of thinking as they have been invested and injected in us from the day we were born. Now if you’d like to make a better version of yourself, you can do that with your children. Don’t go crawling up my backside and say that’s not what they’re here for (I know they’re mainly not), but my father-in-law always mentions that he’s done the best he could with his kids so it’s now their turn to do BETTER than he did. By knowing what is good and bad with ourselves, we can implement the ‘good’ and try to replenish the ‘bad’ starting from now.
Prior to the kiddo, I’ve always acted on impulse and didn’t really think about the cause and effect my actions had towards those around me. For example, when I’m mad at one someone, I tend to be mad at everyone. I think since a young age I wasn’t able to express my emotions properly, repressed by the people around me as they think it’s not ‘acceptable behaviour’ to be angry, sad, or upset.
Another example is that when I’m upset I tend to go over things that’s happened in the past and has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Guess who gets REALLY irritated when I do one of these (hint: he lives with me).
To reflect, how did I come about this type of behaviour? Children are very perceptive when it comes to emotions and how they act upon it. My parents of course have done the best they could with the knowledge they had at the time, but hey we’re human beings and we have flaws. Upon further inspection (especially when they come over to see the grandchild), I see them doing this every time they argue.
I’ll stop there about them and come back to me now. Of course, this type of behaviour is minuscule compared to acceptable societal values such as don’t cheat on your wife/husband, don’t do drugs, etc. I mean, it’s such an every day thing that we do we don’t even think about how it affects our children. But this very little thing will determine how they will interact with other people later on and with their partner as well.
So, is your behaviour reflective of how you want your children to be?