I now understand why God has given me a daughter.
Let me explain.
Reflecting on the title of my post today, there was an incident a few days ago with my mother that nearly made me react quite unpleasantly (read: horribly). This may be surprising to those that kind of know me, as I’ve been perceived to be quite close to my mom. I am, in one way or the other but we have different perspectives, level of tolerance and understanding.
Now, upon this incident I mulled my response to her over, and over, and OVER again. At one point, I couldn’t sleep well because of this. Why? Because of the first sentence – I will be having a daughter of my own and I imagine if she responded to me the way I wanted to, I’d probably hide in a corner and cry my eyes out. It’s not the only reason, but it made me think and realise how reactive I am to this person that has carried me in her womb for 9+ months and has taken care of me (even until now).
Luckily, the husband is my pillar. He understands why I want to react the way I wanted to, but he also told me why it’s not okay to react how I want to. I vented out my reasonings and what I wanted to say, and he listened (quite well actually). The only thing he said was, take your time to cool down.
Cooling down took a few days for me (LOL) but at the end of the day, I was able to convey my message out in a much proper way instead of lashing out. She understood what I wanted to say, and I appreciate that I took the time to mull things over – even for this post it took me another few days on how to write it properly!
My in-law always said that our parents are our closest mirrors – meaning that they are the closest comparison as to how you’d like to be a parent. Take the bad out, and proceed with the good that they’ve done for you. They’re not perfect, nobody is so therefore you should always improve the ‘generation’ by becoming a better version of your parent.
So yes, as mentioned in my previous post even though they’re not born yet, children does have an effect on you. You become less selfish, think more about how you want to portray youself to your children and how you want them to be.
My venting out will cease today 🙂 What do you think?
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