Turning Selfishness into Selflessness

I’m selfish. Yes, I admit.

I think about how certain situations may be beneficial to me – not all the time mind you, but in some occasions I will try to find ways to make me hog a certain thing/person/item. One example, I like to hog my hubby’s time. If possible, I’d like to glue myself to him so that all of his time and activities includesΒ me. Ok, that sounds freaky – let me rephrase. I don’t like it when I’ve planned something with him and it is taken away from me when something ‘else’ happens, it irks the hell out of me.

I’ve learnt though, through many and various fights and arguments that I can’t be like that. He’s not mine only, he’s a son, he’s a brother, soon-to-be father, a friend and many more that he will need to share his time one way or another. Maybe in my head, I’m thinking,

Hey, I want to dedicate all of my time for you (if there weren’t chores, work and other things) so why wouldn’t you want to do that with me?

So that’s my explanation of my selfishness – more of ‘an eye for an eye’ thing. Another realisation came to me yesterday. I went to a baby fair, preparing for little Miss AMG to arrive. Holy crap, baby things are expensive #sorryofftopic. Anyhow, before we tried to conceive I’ve come to realise that if I continue to be selfish, how will I become a good mother and role model for mini-me or mini-hub? Not only will it be difficult for me to become those two things, I wouldn’t want her to take my time away from the leisurely things I’ve come to enjoy.

However, along the way I’ve noticed how a child’s presence will change you. Amazing isn’t it? They’re not even born yet and they’re slowly starting to change the way you view things. I’ve become more aware of expenditures, becoming more stingy upon myself and the hubs so that we can prepare for the little one. Royal was our middle name before, due to the habits of our spending…

I want the best things for her – if I have the capabilities, then why not? In my list of priorities she will now come before myself and the husband (sorry babe). So one may say that this God-given gift will have the ability to change the most selfish, ignorant people in becoming selfless and attentive. Who knew?

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Back to when momma was doing this cool Storm-like hair …

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