Ok hear me out.
I’ve just moved jobs (which I’m currently enjoying very much) and actually doing something I’ve been curious and want to do for quite some time. Writing and finding all sorts of new vocabularies that exist in the English Language is quite an adventure indeed, you get to play around with words you’ve probably never even heard of.
This is not the issue.
The issue relates to my article Becoming a FT mother – the story continues. I’ve somewhat felt more conscious about my physical appearance, my ability to ‘bring home the bacon’ and also how my husband sees me (literally). Wanting to still look ‘attractive’, I am looking for alternatives so that I look bedazzling and he won’t set his eyes on other women that’s more attractive than I am right now (which is essentially the entire female population).
He’s insistent that I don’t need it, but I’m insistent that I do. Go figure.
I poured out my thoughts and insecurities to him and glad I did as he’s always one step ahead with things like this. He says that it’s good I’m conscious of it, which means that it won’t come to the part where he needs to remind me to become the best of what I can be. Let’s not attack him and say that he’s not being understanding – I appreciate his feedback and turns my insecurities into a push for me.
When you’re in a relationship/partnership, it needs two people for it to work. If one continues to grow, the other needs to follow through so that the ship will be balanced. Problems will arise when one is continuously improving themselves, whilst the other is stagnant and comfortable. It’s not a bad thing to be comfortable, it’s probably human nature. But with relationships it will create a rift and one will think ‘why is he/she up there’ whilst the other will think ‘why are you not following?’
I’ve seen this first-hand to people closest to me and it’s sad and frightening at the same time to watch how they were so in love and respectful of their commitment spiral out of control and shatters the relationship. I don’t want that to happen.
So ladies – and gents, it’s ok to let out your insecurities to your partners. If they are supportive and they love and cherish you, they will help you find the right path. Keep an open mind and be neutral (ladies keep the hormones out!) as their feedback is truly what you need to hear. Don’t see it as a weakness and hide it, use it as a motivation for you to keep working at it.