Marriage Determined by Age

It may be a foreign concept to those that are in a Western culture nowadays, but here in Asian countries your age is still a determining factor as to whether you should be married or not. Perhaps that was why arranged marriage was a popular trend back in the days (in both Western and Asian cultures), as it will demolish the stigma of a woman/man not ‘attractive’ enough for the opposite sex to choose and marry.

From what I see, this isn’t such an issue in Western cultures nowadays as the country and environment they live in does not see marriage as a way to obtain a sense of belonging within a group, or probably a level of happiness. Sad as it may seem, but yes some people see marriage as a life-long goal due to pressure from family, culture, age (as what we’re discussing now) and more.

The age for determining the appropriate time to get married may have started younger – as an example my parents (a generation before me) got married when they were 16 & 21. When I thought about it as I got older, 16?! I was still having fun in high school, being chased (and probably was chasing) by boys and didn’t have a care in the world. No responsibilities. Mind you however, my parent’s circumstances were different and they didn’t get married due to age, but other outside factors at that time.

Now, I got married last year (25 going on 26) and from relatives and even colleagues, that may sound like the ‘right’ time to get married. The timing is right because you can have kids straight away (which I am) or wait for a few years and the stigma won’t stay that you’re a single unmarried woman/man. I had a conversation with a few friends of mine and even they stated that up until the age of 24, when people make conversation with them it’s already asking about ‘do you have a partner? If yes, how long have you been going out for?’ and so on. Once you hit the number 25, they will go straight to ‘when will you be getting married?’

I have to say that sometimes I do this as well. Perhaps since it has been done unto me several many times, but perhaps we also see it as a normal thing to say/ask. I try to reduce this and be as neutral as possible (which is sometimes difficult) as I understand that it wasn’t just me that has asked them these questions. It will come to a point when they’ll be sick of hearing these questions and pressure will seep into their thoughts.

I’m not against setting an age for when you would like to be hitched, just make it your own and not everyone else’s standards. Why do I think it’s important? So that you won’t make a wrong decision. I’ve seen first hand how pressure of marriage not based on quality (i.e. love, respect, commitment, humility, etc.) ends up and they don’t look pretty. If you don’t have the basis of choosing your life-partner right, why get married at all?

So what are your thoughts on this? 🙂




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