Chats with the husband always gives me a completely different perspective from my narrow-minded thinking. Whenever a thought comes to mind, it circles around in my head until stress is the outcome of such thought. Today’s topic was the above title – on my choice in becoming a full-time mother once my baby arrives.
I will be resigning from my current position late January 2017 (or early February) when I will be nearly 6 months into my pregnancy. Now, this is earlier than when most people would take off from work, but my manager decided it would be better for me to handover my projects earlier than later due to the sensitivity of my position.
This afternoon after coming back home from a relative’s house, I spoke my mind out loud before it could turn me into an unstable moody woman (which will annoy the husband as there will be implications on him regardless of whether it is related to him or not), I spoke my thoughts aloud. It was my fear about being perceived as a full-time mother later on. Please don’t get me wrong for all full-time mothers out there, I honestly just want your feedback and opinions as this will be a first time experience for me. Once this one comes out, the next one/s should be a piece of cake (I hope).
The first thing I said to the husband was, are you okay with me being a full-time mom? I’ve heard comments dropped here and there, more to his family not mine that somewhat it is expected that I still work. However, I am making his opinion matter the most as he is my partner, not anyone else. I am lucky enough that he is happy with my choice in becoming that, as long as I put my effort and time in researching and finding out on what are the best ways/methods/activities to do/etc. in raising a child. So that’s one thing crossed off from my list of insecurity about choosing this road, as he fully supports my decision and is happy with what makes me happy.
Next question, what will society think of me? I have known full-time mothers and working mothers and have no judgemental thoughts about their choices. However, I’m curious as how they came about and how they handled this societal pressure. Yes I’ve read articles saying it’s okay to put your time and energy into raising your children as that is the role of a parent, but in another aspect some cultures/societal norms expect that you need to not only be a parent, but earn a living due to certain circumstances. My insecurity about this one? Ego. Do I sound petty? Probably, but that’s the fact. When I mentioned this, he scolded me instead saying, ‘Are you falling victimg to societal pressure? Because that is not where you should be right now in life. You’ve grown and should be past that kind of thinking.’ He says things now and then that gives a slap to my face.
I understand that what I portray will be how society will see me. Even as a full-time mom, if I have accomplishments through other achievements, their statements will not be ‘she’s only a working mom’ but ‘even though she’s a working mom, she’s…’
Now, for full-time parents (not just mothers), what do you think?